| 12 August |
I’m Not Wearing Underpants |
Why do the trees wave at you in the morning time? Their branches wave back and forth as to say, “Hey! Look at me and how chipper I am at 9 am.” Don’t they know I am not a morning person? I mean c’mon, don’t you think they would have better things to do?
Do you ever stop and try and figure out what dogs are saying when they bark at you? I do. Sometimes, I will try and bark back at them in the same pitch and voice. Sometime they stop and look at me like I’m crazy. They just need to learn how to speak English and make things simpler. Yo no hablo woof woof.
Cards are in the air. One time, I would love to see a dealer go, “52 Card Pickup!” and toss the cards everywhere. Then the saying would actually fit.
I’m still waiting for my Egg McMuffin Jolyn.
Have you ever seen a pink and purple polka dotted elephant wearing an athletic V-neck top? I have. And I was sober.
I was talking to the floorwoman (see egg mcmuffin above) one day and she told me about the first time they held the Roshambo tournament at the World Series. At the time she was a dealer and the only Roshambo she ever heard of was SOUTH PARK ROSHAMBO. Suffice it to say she REALLY wanted to see how that was going to go down.
Gluing a phone to a camera does NOT make a camera phone.
Pink Monkeys are not blue.
And last but not least,
Wet Dogs Smell Pretty.